He will never truly leave me
I’ve put paid to that
I’ve no intention of being lonely
In my grim little London flat
I’ve hidden his false teeth
I threw his hearing aid down the loo
Buried his walking stick and hid his right shoe
He hasn’t a left shoe but his false leg
Is hidden right under my old double bed
I’ve given his glasses to Oxfam
I’m using his wig as a mop
So if he decides to leave me today
You can be sure that he wont get away
Well part of him might but the rest I will keep
Or get back from the local pawn shop.