Welcome to the Florida Scene.

Some “senior” personal ads seen in Florida and Arizona
newspapers:

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80s,
slim, 5’-4” (used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing
companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth
husband looking for someone to round out a six- unit plot.
Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the
ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together,
take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a
dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and
caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in
my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the air guitar.
If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together
and listen to my boss collection of eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you
can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads
together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some
hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running
condition, but walks well.

(Who says seniors don’t have a sense of humour?)